1. Clingy People Are Usually Selfish (Although Not All of Them Mean To Be)
If you are a clingy person and I just hurt your feelings, I am sorry. But you need to hear the truth and take a good look at yourself. (Your future happiness depends on it.) Clingy people are insecure people. They need constant verification that they are loved, appreciated, etc. Because of that need, they are always thinking about themselves and how their partner is relating to them. Now, when you are constantly thinking about yourself you can’t possibly be thinking about your partner and their needs, can you?
YOU are responsible for YOU and it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. Clingy people wait for other people to make them happy when, in truth, happiness never comes from external sources. It ALWAYS comes from within.
2. People Want To Feel Like They Are In a Relationship With an Equal
An equal is someone on the same wavelength with you mentally, emotionally, and physically. They “get” you like no one else does. And they give as much to the relationship as they take. Relationships are like banks. You make deposits, then you draw out things when you need them. However, it will bankrupt your relationship if one person is always making withdrawals without putting anything in.
3. Each Partner Needs Support
One of the main points in life is to find a person to share your highs and lows with. They celebrate with you when things are great, and they help hold you up when things are bad. However, if you are a clingy person, then how can you be a rock for your partner when they need you? (See Number 1 above.
4. Relationships Require Work
All You Need Is Love is a great song, but it’s simply not true. (Now I will have that song in my head all day.) Relationships take work, but if your partner is your top priority it doesn’t really feel like work. Instead of spending your day worrying about where your partner is and what they are doing, take that time to plan something nice for them to show your love. Give them some space. It will be good for both of you.
Can’t decide if you are clingy or if your partner is clingy? Here are some signs:
* Must know where the other person is every minute of every day.
* Don’t like for your partner to spend time with their friends without you (or at all).
* Want your partner to give up hobbies/interests that don’t include you.
* Hold your partner back from their potential because you are afraid of being “left behind”.
* Don’t have a life and plan of your own. (That’s why you are riding their coattails.)
If you are a clingy person, I didn’t mean to beat up on you. Being clingy is usually a learned behavior and you may have been taught that by your parents. But the time has come to break out of that mold and become your own person.
A strong partner with their own life and interests makes for a great mate.
If you want to have a healthy, BALANCED relationship, then you must be a happy, well-adjusted individual. Now, I know we all have our little issues in life, but I mean generally speaking you should have your act together. Go out and get some new friends and hobbies. Start thinking and acting positively all the time. Start loving life and everyone around you. All those clingy signs will automatically disappear when you do these simple things because you will be happier, more confident, and more independent. If you need more help getting it together, then go see a counselor. Many churches and workplaces will supply you with counseling services for free.
If clinginess has caused the break up of your relationship, please see clingy signs for steps to repair it.
Angela Christian Pope has a psychology degree and extensive experience counseling couples. She is also the creator of ModernRelationship.org, an innovative website designed to help both men and women in all stages of relationships. Get answers to your burning questions, plus some advice you never knew you needed!
Visit our website for helpful (and sometimes funny) resources to help you make your relationship better, no matter how darn good it already is.
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